Is my girlfriend playing me, his suicidal ex boyfriend, or both?

I know this is hard for you, but get into something or someone less involved. This doesn't even sound fun anymore. There is someone out there just for you, & you will know for sure when you find her because she will leave no room for questions....she'll just be there. It may not happen tomorrow, but don't buy into the lie that you need someone else to make you complete. Approach life in the way that makes You happy, not someone else, & take your time. Take care...you're worth it.